Hypothetically Speaking
by Do Not Even Try
Summary: “What if this wasn’t hypothetically speaking?” “Then I’d do this,” she said and before she knew what she was doing, she was kissing him again. [[MOLIVER]] [[ONESHOT]] [[ANTIJILEY]]


**A/n: Right well, I wrote this today in my shower in gym class. So uhm...I hope you like it. is it just me or does it seem like the Hannah Montana FF section is dead right now? It does to me...but yea, I don't own Hannah Montana. Only my mind and the imagination that comes with. Well, actually, I don't even own that until I turn 18. Up until then, it's my parents. Damn :/**

"Come on, loosen up a bit! It's a Friday, we're in New York City, and we're adults now! I want to go have some fun!" Lilly Truscott begged her best friend as she twirled around the hotel room with a dreamy look on her young face. The window of the room was open and the sound of the busy streets of New York flitted through the room.

"You can do whatever you want to do," Her best friend, Miley Stewart, said stiffly as she sifted through the songs on her iPod.

"Ugh!" Lilly screamed as she threw herself down on her bed, "no I can't! Lola can not go out without Hannah! It's just not right! It's like…Shrek without Donkey! Batman without Robin! Scooby without Shaggy! Paris without Nicole! _Come on_! It's Mikayla's birthday party! How rude would it be for Hannah Montana not to go!?"

Miley paused in her earth-shattering music search and gently set down the iPod, "Lilly, it wouldn't be rude because Hannah and Mikayla hate each other!!"

"You see? It would be rude not to go and try to patch things up! It's been seven years since your little Florida feud!" Lilly exclaimed in a loud voice as she hovered over Miley in what would be an intimidating fashion if the said girl wasn't Miley's best friend.

"I don't want to talk to that little whore!" Miley screamed back at Lilly, seeming more intimating than the latter was.

"You don't have to! Just go, set her present on the table, and avoid her the whole night!" Lilly begged, and then continued, "Please, please, _please _can we go! I want to go so bad!! Do this for me! Do this for your best friend!"

Miley sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose. She really didn't want to go, but not just because of Mikayla. She didn't want to go because not only would she have to see Mikayla, but she'd have to see her fiancé. Who happened to be her ex-boyfriend. It would have been better if Miley and her boyfriend had ended things on better terms, but there wasn't really much closure. He gave her that letter and the rose, and then a week later he sent her an email saying he was going to come visit. He never did. Seeing him in the arms of someone else would hurt, but seeing him in the arms of her enemy would be even worse. She just wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"Lilly," She struggled out as she sat up, "please don't make me do this. I can't see them."

Lilly feel silent for a moment. Just as she opened her mouth to talk, the door connecting them to another hotel room busted open and a boy with shaggy brown hair jumped in.

"You guys ready for the party?" Oliver Oken asked his best friends in excitement. Lilly gazed at him with disappointment sparkling in her blue-green eyes,

"Sorry, Ollie. I don't think there is gonna be any party tonight." Oliver's face fell as he stared at his best friend,

"Why?!"

Lilly sighed and crossed the room, placing a hand on Oliver's shoulder, "Young Miley is going through some tough times, and us as her best friends, have to guide her through this path of self-discovery."

Miley glared at Lilly.

"Self discovery my ass! She just doesn't want to see Jake Ryan!" Oliver bluntly exclaimed.

"Now, now Oliver! Be a nice man." Lilly scolded playfully. He crossed his arms,

"No! Mike and Lola want to party and shouldn't have to sit out because Hannah is too _chicken _to face her flame from seven years ago."

"I am _not _chicken!" Miley exclaimed, "Besides, he isn't Hannah's flame!"

"Exactly. Be Hannah, not Miley!" Lilly exclaimed.

Miley really wanted to tell them no, and to just back off. But she couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. And that was why she found herself dressed as Hannah and in the back of a limo two hours later on her way to Mikayla's birthday party.

"I don't like this," Miley, dressed as Hannah, murmured to Mike (Oliver) and Lola (Lilly). The party lights were flashing fast and multi-colored and there were people _everywhere. _It smelled very strongly of a mix of deodorants and perfumes.

"Oh come on," Lilly said as she bobbed her head along to some up-beat poppy song, "loosen up! This is _great_! Oh I can't wait to try the shrimp…!" And just with that, Lilly ran off with Oliver leaving Miley by herself. She stared in the direction Lilly ran in disbelief.

"Amazing," She screamed to herself over the music, "they force me to come, and then _abandon _me!! I mean, it's one thing to make someone come but to make then come then ignore them—

"Oh, Jakey, here she is! The girl that thinks she's so much better than me. Ha, at least I don't talk to myself."

Miley felt her face flush as she winced. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the dominant feeling of fear and the desire to run away, and turned around.

Of course, when she had she most certainly wished she hadn't. In fact, what she saw when she turned around made her regret everything down to finishing high school. If that wouldn't have happened she wouldn't be here and forced to see this.

Standing in front of her in a micro mini doesn't-get-much-shorter-than-this-unless-it's-a-bikini-bathing-suit-bottom black leather dress was Mikayla. She looked like a hooker from her head, to her toes. Literally. Her shoes were outrageously tall, and the heel was so thin that Miley was surprised it wasn't breaking right now. Miley was also surprised Mikayla could even _breathe _in her dress. That's how tight.

But it wasn't the prostitute clothes or the bitchy, sarcastic I-think-I'm-just-so-much-better-than-you-and-a-bag-of-chips smile that had Miley cursing herself for passing high school, it was what Mikayla happened to be draped all over at the moment. He looked as good as ever, but Miley could tell being with Mikayla had done everything _but _help his egocentric lifestyle. The way he stood, you knew he was just thinking to himself that he is better than anyone else. His smile was even worse; cocky to the extreme level.

But in spite of the obvious cockiness of Jake Ryan, Miley found herself picturing a much different boy inside the one in front of her now. This boy could be normal and sweet…and send hundreds of gift baskets to a girl's house to prove his love. This boy bought stars and named them after you…and had this distinct way of making you feel loved no matter what. But that was Leslie, and the person in front of her was _not _Leslie.

"Jake, this is Hannah I-think-I-rule-the-world-because-I-have-a-few-fans Montana. Hannah, this is Jake Ryan."

It felt so weird to be introduced to him as if she'd just met him for the first time today. She had held his hand, kissed his lips, and laid in those arms. So why, Miley wondered, was he acting like this was indeed the first time they met?

"I've met her before, Mikayla, remember on my TV show?" Jake said as he glanced at Miley quickly, then back at her.

"Oh, yes, that's right. The one where she acted _horribly._"

Miley seethed internally with anger, but she wasn't going to allow herself to get worked up.

Jake looked really uncomfortable, "Now that isn't very nice! She acted just wonderful to me—

Mikayla cut him off mid-defense, "I mean, what was up with that hair?!"

Miley didn't want to get mad, but she couldn't stop the anger rising in her at an alarming rate…

"If I recall correctly, _Mikayla_, it didn't really matter what my hair looked like on a show because I still blew you off the stage in Florida. And that's what really matters." Miley snapped.

Mikayla laughed loudly, "You blew me off the stage? No way honey! I blew you off the stage! Besides, you are just some stuck-up, rich, Malibu Barbie that needs to discover that you aren't so great after all. I bet you spend your weekends plotting up ways to get on the cover of all the tabloids!!"

Miley had to laugh at that one. Oh how wrong she was. Miley spent her weekends as a normal woman; she knew more about modesty than Mikayla could comprehend.

Surprising to both Mikayla and Miley, Jake laughed. His laugh wasn't mocking in a ooh-Hannah-just-got-burned-by-my-future-wife kind of laugh, more of a haha-my-future-wife-has-lame-comebacks! And both Miley and Mikayla realized that.

Mikayla spun around so fast Miley was surprised her face didn't split apart.

"What are _you _laughing at?" Jake fell silent and stared at his hands.

"I was just…uhm…well, you see honeybunch, Hannah has to be one of the most…" Jake searched for an appropriate word, "_down to earth _people I've ever met."

"Hmph," Mikayla angrily tossed her hair back and turned to Miley, "Anyway, I can't believe you even showed up! It's not like anyone wanted you here."

For some reason she couldn't figure out, Miley felt a lump rise in her throat at this comment. The back of her eyes burned with oncoming tears, but she just angrily blinked them away. She wasn't going to let her get to her.

"I didn't want to come, Lola and Mike made me." She said stiffly.

Mikayla snorted, "Oh that one with the purple hair that's always high and the really shaggy and ugly guy? What losers. But then again, you'd have to be to hang around _Hannah Montana._"

That was it for Miley. You can insult her, but insult her friends…no, no, no. That was going way too far. She took one; single menacing step forward and even the zombie slayer flinched backward. Miley neared Mikayla's face and murmured in a low voice,

"You listen here, you little skank. My friend's are the friends you can't even _dream _of. So before you start picking on someone's friends, why don't you make sure you've actually got some."

Mikayla tried not to look affronted, "I've got friends!! Jake here is my best friend," She fluttered her eyelashes at him which made Miley even madder, "and besides," she continued, "I don't see you engaged. What, are you that bad of a kisser?"

Miley was so tempted to say 'why don't you ask you're boyfriend?' but felt Jake didn't deserve that. Although, he was letting her get insulted like this…

"Just shut up. Gosh, you're comebacks remind me of a damn five-year-olds!" Miley exclaimed, trying to stay passive about that past subject. But the light flush on her cheeks gave her away. Jake coughed, very inconspicuously covering his laugh. Not.

Mikayla ignored Jake and turned to Miley again, "Ooh, touchy about that subject are we? Hmm, well I'm sure if you go back to Tennessee there's some poor, desperate hick that would take you. Maybe." She laughed loudly, and Miley kept waiting for Jake to try and defend her. Nothing.

Just then, someone slung their arm around Miley's shoulder.

"There you are, _honey_. I was looking all over for you! I couldn't stand being away from my cupcake for that long!" Mike Stanley III (a.k.a. Oliver Oscar Oken) purred in Miley's left ear. She jumped two feet and tried to hide her surprise. She knew her best friend all too well. He had heard what Mikayla said, and was now trying to save her embarrassment. She thought it was sweet, but mean to use Oliver.

Even though she said that and told herself she wouldn't, as if it were a reflex, Hannah found herself throwing her arms around Oliver. She hugged him tightly and he smiled.

"Mike! Sorry, I was going to say hello to Ashley but I met Mikayla and Jake here on the way!" Miley exclaimed to him. Suddenly, for some reason, she was oddly aware at just how _good_ Oliver smelled and how great it felt being in his arms. She shook away the thought.

"Oh, you must be Mikayla! Happy birthday, so are you turning eight?" Oliver asked sweetly as if he were talking to a baby. Mikayla looked affronted,

"NO! I AM NOT TURING EIGHT! I'M TURNING TWENTY-TWO!" She screamed hysterically as she jumped up and down.

"Wow, someone has issues…" Miley muttered underneath her breath. She was sure only Oliver heard.

"Oh, sorry. Easy mistake." Oliver said smoothly, then lowered his voice, "listen, I heard you talking about my girl and if I hear it again, you're going to wish you has never, ever said it—

"Hey, dude, don't talk to her that way." Jake said to Oliver as he defended Mikayla.

"Excuse me?" Miley spat as she stared into Jake's face, "like she needs protecting! She's the one who's being so rude to _me_—

"Was not. Tell her Jakey!" Mikayla whined as she tugged on Jake's sleeve. Miley could feel her heart in her throat, throbbing painfully as she watched Jake's face. He averted his eyes.

"Hannah, I really think you should apologize to Mikayla…"

Maybe it was the probe lights. Maybe it was the intoxicating smell of Oliver's skin, or his arms around her. Or maybe it was just Miley letting herself speak the truth. Whatever the cause, she felt something break inside of her.

"No, Jake, I really think I shouldn't," She said darkly and slowly. Her eyes met his, but she didn't turn away, "I think maybe you should apologize to me."

He looked confused so she added, "You never came Jake, you never came. And I waited out on my doorstep in the rain for three hours. _Three hours. _I kept telling myself that maybe, just maybe, the traffic was bad or your plane was late. You didn't even bother to call or text me to say you weren't coming. Damn you didn't even send me a stupid email."

"It was only three hours…" he stated like he really thought it was no biggie.

"I may have waited three hours physically, but internally, even though I didn't know it, I am still waiting. The reason I didn't want to come here tonight was because I wanted to keep telling myself your flight was still late. I seriously think a part of me believed you were still in the air, waiting for the plane to land so you could run to me. But you aren't going to…and you are just a jerk." Miley spat in his face.

He glared at her and opened his mouth to say something really stuck up. Before she could say anything else, Oliver opened his mouth.

"And you know something Mikayla? I think you look like a monkey. Always have. With that, that...head...and face..."

Oliver had a way of making the most childish saying sound like he just cursed her out. She started crying and Jake stepped forward as if to hit him. Miley stepped between the two,

"Guys, stop it!"

"Move!" Jake growled as he pushed Miley away from between them. That was it for Oliver.

_WHAM!_

The next moment, Jake was holding his cheek and the paparazzi were taking pictures like crazy.

"Don't. Talk. To. Hannah. Like. That," Oliver growled between his teeth, "or it'll be worst next time, you stupid freak!"

Mikayla was still wailing on the top of her lungs. Miley looked at her in annoyance and exclaimed,

"Well go help him already! God, you stupid bitch."

Mikayla kept on wailing and Miley tried to pin-point when all this has gotten so out of hand.

"Come on, let's go out here." Oliver muttered softly in her ear as he pulled her out on the back deck. They both sat down on a porch swing and it was silent between them for a moment.

"Thanks, uhm, for…you know…standing up for me like that." Miley said nervously as she examined her nails. Suddenly she looked up in panic, worried she'd said the wrong thing, "I mean, thanks if it was for me. If it wasn't then forget I said anything. You know what, maybe that was a bad thing to do. Because now you'll be in trouble and in the tabloids and oh my gosh, Ol-Mike, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen! Will your mom yell at you? I mean, he wasn't being that horrible so I guess she could ground you but it would be highly unfair I mean—

But Miley never got to tell Oliver what she meant, because at that moment his hands gently grabbed the back of her head as he softly pressed his lips to hers. She would have thought about something, anything…but she couldn't. Every nerve in her body was exploding and she couldn't breathe. All she could focus on was his lips, his hands, his body. Too soon, much too soon, they broke apart and Miley didn't know what to say. The kiss was amazing, she'd felt some major fireworks and she knew it. But did he? Did he know how real that kiss felt?

"Oliver…I really don't know what to say…" she struggled out.

"Why did you go along with it?" Oliver asked her as he stared into her eyes.

"What?"

"Why did you pretend to be Mike's girlfriend? I was just joking around, but you took it seriously."

_So he hadn't heard Mikayla…_Miley thought to herself as she tried to process this information. She knew she could have lied, but she thought of how she felt in his arms…so she simply told the truth.

"It felt right."

"Right like how?" He asked, holding his breath.

"Right like…like I didn't think I should have let you hold me but I couldn't stop myself…" she murmured, keeping her eyes on her shoes.

"Miley…" He whispered to her. She looked up at him hesitantly.

"If I told you I loved you, what would you say? Hypothetically speaking of course." He asked.

"Hypothetically speaking I would probably tell you I felt the same way," Miley replied shyly.

"Okay. What if I told you I'd loved you since the first time I met you?"

"I'd kiss you, hypothetically speaking still."

"What if I killed Jake Ryan?"

"I'd still love you."

"What if I won the lottery and kept it all for myself?"

"I'd marry you and secretly donate some to charity."

"What if I ran over a little puppy?"

"Then I'd run over you to see how you liked it, and then nurse you back to health."

"What if this wasn't hypothetically speaking?"

"Then I'd do this," she said and before she knew what she was doing, she was kissing him again. This kiss lasted longer, but was still just as amazing.

"Wow. Thank God for hypothetical questions."

"Amen."

A/n: review?


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